Fighting the Losing Fight

So, I came to this insane realization that being a mom is the equivalent to constantly fighting a losing battle.

•  No matter how much laundry I do, there is always more
• No matter how many meals I make, they are always hungry.
• No matter how many times I discipline, there are always more
• No matter how many noses I wipe, shoes I ties, ouchies I kiss, arguments we get into, groundings I give, outings I go on and grocery shopping I do…. There is always more.
• No matter how much I beat myself up over things that I have done with, to and for my kids, there is always going to be more.

Then there came this epiphany moment last night as I was giving my son trouble for something wrong that he did, and he looked at me sheepishly and said "but mommy, I love you and just want a hug".

• No matter what there are always kisses
• No matter what there are always hugs
• No matter what, there is always that comfort in knowing that what I am doing, I am doing with the best intentions of raising wonderful kids into amazing adults.

Sometimes, being a mom can be the hardest job in the world. We are doctors, chefs, police, judges, chauffeurs, receptionists, personal assistants and counselors. Sometimes I know that it is more than I think I can handle. However, when one of my awesome kids looks at me and says "I love you mom", it all suddenly becomes worth it.

 

 

All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.
- Lincoln

The future destiny of the child is always the work of the mother
- Napoleon Bonaparte

The time is fast approaching...

I cant believe that it is only 6 weeks till my wedding!!

I feel like I am freaking out because I am not freaking out... if that makes any sense. I am sooo excited! My life is great. I am so in love with my amazing man and very much looking forward to becoming his wife.

Clothes are figured out, food... well, lets just say that I feel very greatful that such an amazing chef is making all the food for my big day, decorations are all figured out with finishing touches being added, almost all of the RSVP's have been returned to me, hotel rooms have been booked, and fittings have been scheduled.

I want to thank everyone who is helping and who is going to help ahead of time for all of the love you have all shown to us. We will be forever greatful!

We are looking foward to celebrating with those we love the most

and having a freaking awesome time doing it!!!

Just livin life

   So I know that my blogging has slowed, but I am realizing that is probably a good thing, considering what the intention of this was to be a place for me to talk out my viewpoints on all those things that drive us to the point of losing it on a daily basis.
   So, while I still succumb to these urges occasionally, I have managed to do a flip around to the "lighter side of the news" I guess you could say.
   For quite a while there, all that would come out of my mind or my mouth seemed to be negative. Almost like a verbal diarrhea of negativity. Now, I seem to be focusing much more on everything that is making me happy on a daily basis, and I have to say that this blog, writing down all that stuff, has made me realize more-so that I am not appreciating what I have. Kind of a "practice what you preach" scenario a little bit. This is something that I am constantly telling people around me. "Look on the bright side though..." and now I seemed to have learned how to take my own advice.

Lets break it down:

WEDDING! So, there is only 58 days till my wedding. I finally got my hair done, and it looks amazing if I must say so myself. Was definitely the talk of the salon for at least that day if not longer. Going from orangy blonde to ashy-golden blond with bright red and black streaks was a real stretch for a salon where 95% of the coloring is all the women wanting to be blonde, lol. Good times. We have almost everything we need for the reception. I went and got the marriage license which made everything much more real. My Amazing Man's mom took him out and got him his suit for the wedding and he is going to look.. well, amazing. My son is set with his tux and now all that is left is my daughter.... dress shopping it is!!

Home life... this one is interesting. I love my home life. I just don't love my home which makes it hard to want to be there at all. Slooooowly working on getting out of there into something we can all be happy with, but that will take time.

Kids... They are both in full-time school now! My son is in all day kindergarten and seems to be loving it. Awesome! The other night I looked at my daughter and said "are you in Gr.5 now??" Geez, that just doesn't seem right! I can't be that old already can I? I still vividly remember grade 5! Wow.  See, I have been worried about my daughter coming home after a long stretch (2 months) of being with her dad. We have a volatile relationship and I think its just because we communicate in different ways. I have a logical thought process where hers are based on emotion. Since she got home, I have been trying my absolute best to understand how she is feeling about things like school, wedding, friends, siblings and such, but when all you get is a crying "I don't know how I feel", then what?!?! Well, we actually had a talk the other night and we both eased up a little I think. It was good and I feel like my daughter is starting her Gr.5 year in a pretty good place emotionally. She's a great kid, a caring person, and a total intellectual. Not only that, but I think she will be amazing at guitar!!

Love life... well, I seem to have found the guy that I need. He is a rock for me and when I think of him all I think is the word "safe". After sooo many years of never feeling that way, its so amazing that just one person can give me that. He is my other half. He is that calm, soft spoken side of me that I never knew existed. He can take me out of any crazy moment with a soft touch on my hand or a simple smile can make my tears dry up. One in a million!

So it looks like my life is slowly turning into all that I always wished it would.

Is it all its cracked up to be?

So, my mom was out here a little while ago and was fabulous enough to take my son to a dr's appointment. Turns out he had an ear infection and was prescribed a very common antibiotic. So after forgetting about it and not really being on schedule with it, we finally got it on track and his ears are clearing up.

Well, yesterday he woke up looking kinda weird. He had a crazy rash all over his body, not itchy, not raised; he wouldn't have even known if I didn't make him shower right when I saw it. So by last night after he had gone to sleep, he woke up at about midnight and looked like death warmed over.

That was it, got dressed, contacts in, shoes on. Got him bundled up and took him to the ER. Here is where it got interesting for me.

I hear all the time how our "free" universal medical system makes for insane wait times and all around bad service.

From walking in the door, registering, going to the triage nurse, getting into a room,

seeing the dr, getting a diagnosis (allergic to the antibiotic amoxicillin),

got a prescription for a different one, got him bundled again and got back in the car

was less than an hour.

I find that when it is something important, it is dealt with as quickly as possible. When it involves children it is dealt with as quickly as possible.

After all the problems that we have been dealing with… my grandma being in the hospital for 2 weeks (with amazing care), being at home, rushed through specialists, blood work, doctors appointments, scans, back in and out of the hospital and now this experience with my son, I have actually gotten more appreciation for our Health Care system.

That’s my rant today