Saturday, November 12, 2011

Kids these days.... and how it's our fault

     So, as many of you may know on a weekly basis we deal with teenagers causing property damage in our complex. Every time it happens the immediate thoughts through my head are: how have kids become this way? Don't the parents know where their kids are? I wonder when the last time that kid got a good swift spanking is? How much is this going to cost us?

     This weekend when it happened I heard yelling along with the sound of breaking wood and I recognized the voice. My husband was out there yelling at these punks. This freaks me out a little because of the retaliation that our balcony will most likely face seeing as how the last time he called someone out for doing something wrong, our balcony was egged.

I told him to be quiet and he angrily raised a very good point.
"The reason why stuff like this keeps happening us because no one holds them accountable for their actions."


     So now I am thinking about that. What makes kids this way and why are they never held accountable???

     Then something happened. Have you encountered a passive parent? You know the ones. Either you have seen them in a store somewhere or are one yourself. I witnessed something like this just the other day in Save-On. I was waiting in line at a check-out when the mom and 2 kids in front of me start having an obvious battle for power. The kids wanted some sort of a treat and the mom said no. The eldest daughter then proceeded to turn directly toward her Mother, hand on hip and say, "I said buy it for me now".

   Now, if this would have been me 1 of 2 things would have happened:
1: my daughter would have gotten a verbal, and louder no with the "look".
or 2: I would have snatched her hand right off her hip and told her never to speak like that to me again.

     But... it wasn't me, it was a very passive parent. She responded with "I have one at work I will bring you home tomorrow". Well, that wasn't good enough either. The daughter, and now her younger sister standing the same way, demanded that she go to her work "right now!" to get it for them.

(To put this into perspective, I just explained this situation to my daughter and her eyes widened and she said "I think you would just smack me right there".)

At this point the cashier and I were exchanging glances.

     This situation could be easily avoidable if the parents of these 2 little "angels" made it known that they were the ones in control and acted more as parents instead of friends.

    I do believe that these kinds of actions are quite deep rooted. When I was a kid, I knew there were repercussions for my back talking. Sometimes I decided it was worth it, but knew I would pay. Whether I was grounded to my room, had a spoon broken on my ass, or had to eat soap. I also knew then that I would never do those things to my kids. I felt then that I had been wronged as a person and wasn't loved. My parents, like most, would respond with "You'll understand when you have kids of your own".

Now I do.

     I have kids that sometimes need a 1-2-3 count, or a smack on the bum, or a lesson on attitude and what is acceptable and what is not, or the correct way to speak to an adult. Not to discount my kids though. They have great manners and are smart, wonderful kids... the majority of the time.

     But, for fear of having their kids feel the same way they did as kids, parents nowadays want to be friends with their kids instead of parents. We as parents need to remember that we are here to raise our kids to respect their elders, treat others as you want to be treated, learn from their mistakes and that there are repercussions for their actions.

If we haven't done this, we have failed as parents

PS- apparently, my husband making it known to that punk that he will not stand for any more damage worked. There has been nothing since.

1 comment:

  1. So true! Im not even a parent and it drives me crazy every time I see a parent let their children dominate them. I think it's like training a dog ( all I really have to compare it too), be consistent with reprecussions and very soon the bad behaviour will stop.